Where has a year gone...

How can it be that a year ago this time I was waking up in a recovery room feeling like my abdomen had been ripped open (actually it felt that way because it had) and wondering how in the world I was going to make it through that night. But then, hours later as I was wheeled back into my hospital room my all consuming thought was to be reunited with the little one who had grown as one (or at times at war) within my body, for the previous nine months. I hope I never forget that feeling of hearing the nurse wheel our precious Isaac Thomas into that quietly lit room. It felt so different to pick up this baby from whom I had been separated from for several hours. Our first three children had no complications, and almost textbook style the doctor would have their Daddy clip the cord, only to be handed into my/our waiting arms. But with Isaac, I learned in a whole new way that as a mother I would do anything to give him life. Just the thought that something was wrong made me realize I would have let the doctors cut me any which way if it would guarantee his safety. I remember being surprised in the OR that you are strapped crucifix style on this teensy table...but what a blessed reminder that Christ lay down His for me...to give me life abundantly. As it turned out, neither my life, or Isaac's were endangered...the delivery went smoothly, just differently than anticipated. But the lessons I learned were indicative of a year's worth of lessons. As I reflect on this, the eve of his first birthday, I am poignantly aware of the beauty of motherhood, the sacrifice it entails, the joy in it's journey, the fear of doing it wrong, but ultimately the grace and freedom of realizing our children come not from us, just through us.

Isaac, your name means laughter, you came after an impossible promise that God would build a mighty nation from a barren womb. We are so thankful for the many ways you make us laugh, we delight in the fleeting days of your babyhood, we celebrate your drive to keep up with your older siblings (while inwardly we cringe a little to see you so anxious to grow up)but most of all we are excited to see what impossible feats you will accomplish, what dreams God will plant and bring to fruition through only you. No one else could do exactly what God has ordained for you to perform. So strive on dear boy, I won't hold you back (I will shed a few tears) but if you look back, always know that your old mom will be your greatest (well at least the loudest) cheerleader; and your dad, the greatest coach a boy could be given.

As always...words fail. But love...it never fails.

We watched a wonderful movie tonight, together, called The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey. We've had the illustrated children's book for a couple years but the movie version really gripped all of our attention tonight. As Mr. Toomey listens to Willie tell him "how" to carve Mary and the baby Jesus, he explains..."it's simple, just carve them like they loved each other more than anything else in the world."

Yes...it is simple...but I can't think of anything more fitting.